tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53209995900769440592024-02-19T04:41:11.145-08:00The Journey That Continues...this is all about ME
MY thoughts
MY feelings
MY emotions
and
ME and MY weirdest moments
its meant for ME to look back one day and smile at MYSELF for being ME=)daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-51365273112100846942010-11-12T06:45:00.000-08:002010-11-12T07:12:40.406-08:00i like being me sometimes...<br />i find my thoughts interesting..<br />things that no one can think of i will think of it<br />small things that doesnt matter gets me curious and frustrated<br />when i was young i used to think that i was the only one with a conscious<br />i thought that everyone else around me didnt have an inner voice and that i was all alone in this world<br />i thought i was the only one who can talk to myself 'internally'<br />and most of all i thought i was the only one who could think and everyone else was just a body living and breathing the same air as me..eating the same food as me<br />i didnt there ask anyone what to do with this inner voice of mine or how to stop thinking because at that time i knew they wouldnt understand since none of them was like me<br />so i carried on thinking<br />while walking to church<br />i would see someone cooking and i thought to myself he has no idea i am looking at him while thinking of him because he was just a body<br />and i would start smilling<br />my mum wold scold me for smilling to myself<br />she said people who smiled to themselves was crazy and everyone avoids crazy people<br />i didnt care because everyone else was just a body but i was different<br />i can talk to myself without others knowing<br />i would go to church and see people pray out loud<br />but i didnt because i could pray without anyone realising i was praying<br />i had <strong>me </strong>inside of me<br />i could talk to <strong>me</strong><br />i could make fun of something and only me and <strong>me</strong> knew<br />i could tell a lie and only me and <strong>me</strong> knew<br />i could walk alone in the playground and not be scared because i knew <strong>me</strong> was with me<br />i was in my own world<br />i was not scared because others was just a body<br />but soon these bodies started becoming scary<br />the seem to scare you with words and actions even though they were just bodies<br />when the bodies seem to get scarier<br />i started clinging on to my mother<br />eventhough she was a body she was still my mother<br />my mother was a different kind of body<br />she made me so therefore she was a special body<br />so i went on with my childhood clinging on to my mother<br />but still with <strong>me</strong> inside of me<br />i wasnt fearless as before but i still did things with <strong>me</strong><br />i shared thoughts with <strong>me</strong><br />i dont really remember whether <strong>me</strong> shared anything with me<br /><br />i wonder what happen to <strong>me</strong><br />was <strong>me</strong> such a small thing that as i grow older <strong>me</strong> didnt matter<br />did <strong>me</strong> dissapear when i found out that i was not the only one with an inner '<strong>me'</strong><br />is <strong>me </strong>still inside of me<br />i think it is<br />i just have to dig it out<br />to remember my childhoods innocence i need <strong>me</strong><br />to remeber my childhood boldness i needed <strong>me</strong><br />to remember my childhoods smile i needed <strong>me</strong><br />to remember the small things that me and <strong>me</strong> shared i needed <strong>me</strong><br />so i guess <strong>me</strong> never left me<br />and guess what???<br />i just shared a joke with <strong>me</strong>..AND I AM SMILLING TO MYSELF=)daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-64309144792227335212010-08-18T01:47:00.000-07:002010-08-18T02:08:25.266-07:00<div></div><br /><p>i am in a 'P-H-A-S-E</p><br /><p>which is totally un-tahan-ble and also un-believe-able</p><br /><p>i mean to say i cant stand it and i cant believe i am going through it..</p><br /><p>once again i 'never expected it'</p><br /><p>to go in details about i am going through is a bit emberrasing and also overwhelming </p><br /><p>i am trying to comfort myself with the facts that 'P-H-A-S-E-S' will pass</p><br /><p>only memories and experience remains</p><br /><p>so...</p><br /><p>my question to myself is when is this DAMM PHASE GOING TO PASS</p><br /><p>i tried to look back at all the phases i went throughout 20 years of my life</p><br /><p>but cant really remember went i lived out those phases</p><br /><p>i am writting in circles</p><br /><p>a circle which has no end</p><br /><p>OMG</p><br /><p>I am losing my mind</p><br /><p>is this a different phase??</p><br /><p>OMG again</p><br /><p>i am still in this circle</p><br /><p>I AM WRITING IN CIRCLES</p><br /><p>THAT HAS NO END</p><br /><p>hmmm..</p><br /><p>what the hell</p><br /><p>i am thinking</p><br /><p>no wonder</p><br /><p>i am in a circle</p><br /><p>i shouldnt think, then i will be out of the the circle and in a box..</p><br /><p>hopefully a blue box</p><br /><p>a pretty blue box..<img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 359px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 284px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5506673205574717698" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHK1-OYXVjkZ0pYnWnpHQHfMVZOTVpQdzXfwZz4Llyy7s7UQL4qzSfGY7zZq9bL_5KyzkdZDDD2cG1NGq2rDIp5EIdWJxCBMmml3rzPsblijmBLRGNf14qAV18qgjwZwuNAlME0MsHjwc/s400/untitledbox.bmp" /></p>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-58251090200786786272010-07-18T03:50:00.000-07:002010-07-18T05:10:34.000-07:00<div>i am 21 now..</div><br /><div>i remember stuff that has happened in my life but</div><br /><div>what exactly i want to remember the most?????</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>lets see..</div><br /><div>i will just sart from my earliest memory</div><br /><div>my insecurities whenever my mum is not around..</div><br /><div>i will cry whenever i dont see her</div><br /><div>it annoyed everyone around me</div><br /><div>they gave me the nickname '<strong>crybaby'</strong> which till this day they refuse to let it go.=.=</div><br /><div>my childhood</div><br /><div>i enjoyed my time with my <strong>cousins.</strong></div><br /><div>although they are mean</div><br /><div><strong>'boys will always be boys'</strong></div><br /><div>that is how i comforted myself whenever they bully me</div><br /><div>but the fun times was the most memorable</div><br /><div><strong>Primary school was a nightmare!</strong></div><br /><div>i hated it there</div><br /><div>i was never happy there</div><br /><div>i never <strong>fitted </strong>in no matter how hard i try</div><br /><div>i was always <strong>alone </strong>there</div><br /><div>never found a friend i could trust or even share a joke with</div><br /><div>Then there was <strong>cathecism classes</strong></div><br /><div>i hated it</div><br /><div>i was always alone there to</div><br /><div><strong>Thank God for Cindy</strong></div><br /><div>she was the only friend i had there</div><br /><div>we were together till we finished the cathecism classes</div><br /><div>for about 12 years</div><br /><div>i wonder how she is now?</div><br /><div>we lost contact when cathecism classes ended</div><br /><div>maybe one day i will meet her in church again</div><br /><div>then we can catch up</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><strong>Secondary school was my favourite time of my life</strong></div><br /><div>i did struggle with a different kind of insecurity</div><br /><div>but that was always left behind me</div><br /><div>i meet great friends there</div><br /><div><strong>Mei Yee</strong> was the first person who started me on my journey to learning mandarin</div><br /><div>then <strong>Xue Ying</strong> came to help..the rest is just came in place..</div><br /><div><strong>Wei Ling</strong> was the first person i had a conversation with in that school</div><br /><div><strong>Adeline</strong> was the first person who spoke to me</div><br /><div><strong>Mei Xin</strong> was the first person i didnt like even before speaking to her.. but in the 5 years of secondary school she was my best friend</div><br /><div><strong>Xue Ying</strong> was always there</div><br /><div>in the first few years i always thought of her as a good friend only but when i reached form 5 that was when i knew and felt she was my best friend for life</div><br /><div><strong>Xue Ying,</strong> if you are reading this..i am sorry i took so long to see what a true friend you were</div><br /><div>Then there was <strong>Wei Ling</strong> and<strong> Vanessa</strong></div><br /><div>my godness they always made me <strong>laugh</strong> especially <strong>Vanessa</strong> and when <strong>Wei Ling</strong> is there it was always fun</div><br /><div><strong>Thank you guys for always making me laugh and smile</strong></div><br /><div>i still remember your jokes and stories especially <strong>Vanessa's</strong></div><br /><div><strong>Mei Xin,</strong> she was there for me and never abandoned me she was a good friend</div><br /><div>but the both of us made the biggest mistake anyone could ever make in a friendship and that is why we will never be what we used to be</div><br /><div>but we did share a <strong>beautifull friendship</strong> and because of this friendship i made even more best friends</div><br /><div>Then i went to <strong>NS </strong>relunctantly...</div><br /><div>i was scared but even there i meet good friends</div><br /><div><strong>Xue Fen,Bibi,</strong> and also <strong>Chan Lee</strong> and not forgetting <strong>Suat Peng</strong></div><br /><div>they were my real friends there</div><br /><div><strong>Chan Lee</strong> and <strong>Xue Fen</strong> was always staring at my teeth</div><br /><div>Hope they are fine and doing well</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Then i went to college</div><br /><div>it was not the right decision but it was my decision</div><br /><div>i wasnt ready to make a big decision like this </div><br /><div>and i did it the wrong way</div><br /><div>but in this college i met great friends again</div><br /><div><strong>Diana, Wen Nee, Ikhwan, Sez Wei</strong>..and others</div><br /><div>and also not forgetting someone important,,<strong>Xue Ying</strong></div><br /><div>yes we went to the same college</div><br /><div><strong>we said we would go to the same college together when we were in secondary school and we did it.=)</strong></div><br /><div><strong>City Square</strong> was our hangout</div><br /><div>we always go there and chat, window shop but never to study=)))))))</div><br /><div><strong>Ikhwan Tharwan...</strong>one of my weirdest best friends</div><br /><div>when i meet him he was lost</div><br /><div>totally lost but refuse to admit it</div><br /><div>one of my true friends who is there when i need him and also doesnt hold back his thoughts about anything from me to my friends, strangers his grandmothers maid and also has the tendency to speak like a ...well i am not sure what to call this kind of speaking...it involves sex.=.='</div><br /><div>annoyed me in the beggining but now i am used to it</div><br /><div>we never lost contact even until now=)</div><br /><div>i didnt do well in this college</div><br /><div><strong>so i took the road that i was always running away from</strong></div><br /><div>Its amazing how i reached this road</div><br /><div>i never thought this was my destiny</div><br /><div>no..wait... i never wanted this road to be my destiny</div><br /><div>but it is now...</div><br /><div>by each decision i made in my life so far i reached this road...</div><br /><div>come to think of it, i chose this road by myself with every decision i made in my life so far...</div><br /><div>Life is really unpredictable even more unpredictable is the human itself...^^</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I am now in a different college now</div><br /><div>starting from the bottom and working my way up..slowly but steadily</div><br /><div>The road i chose is Nursing</div><br /><div>its a challenging road with a lot of <strong>burden to be selfless and noble</strong></div><br /><div><strong>i am not going to be selfless or even noble just because this road reguires me to</strong></div><br /><div>if i ever become that it will be because i want to and it comes from the bottom of my heart</div><br /><div>I can be a great nurse but i want to be <strong>a great nurse who is still Daphne Fernandez=)</strong></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Did i mention Ikhwan is in this college too</div><br /><div>Yup..........i was so damm happy when i heard he was going to study here</div><br /><div>we meet up sometimes and <strong>Ikhwan is still Ikhwan with a bit more happiness in him</strong></div><br /><div>I meet a few good friends here...we are the loudest when we are together no matter where we go..</div><br /><div>we help each other and we strive together to reach our goals</div><br /><div>I am not going to mention them here</div><br /><div>i am going to save this for another post</div><br /><div>because i still have a lomg way to go before i make the next decision which road to go </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>To myself, thank for all the decisions you made whether good or bad</div><br /><div>i met great people some still in my life some jare the happiest memory i ever had</div><br /><div>whatever it is, i met them i felf their<strong> love</strong> and <strong>support </strong>and most imporantly i shared <strong>great friendship</strong> with them..<strong>so to myself thank you=))))))))</strong> </div><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 301px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 290px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495213791842213266" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihgXnV_IMOaIkAIC7DSoS0ZxOAG1-0adYj_dPIBw8g00u2ExnCOw6ntrJGvuudGGd6fSjX7OBg66XY8WTVQQcS6-wZgSD4WxRjFZdPu6jc6aHUtAwPmpxwmkuaSeDXR_oI7e74TQ2_B2w/s400/Picture+032.jpg" />daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-64296041121902976962010-02-23T08:02:00.000-08:002010-02-23T08:25:11.057-08:00Reality....<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBsVENF5brxjl6cdb_4AUETN7-cunIBLetj7IabYCr0qJzzznxKkl9YkGcZu31Ml4bfKsnstbYEYwy0r0MlCIZscuE_EIsinCYnO86XMR4ZVnARWrGOANvtMk4XpoqVOBdRIlIk02SaNo/s1600-h/saddest-picture.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 433px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 447px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441470224884149650" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBsVENF5brxjl6cdb_4AUETN7-cunIBLetj7IabYCr0qJzzznxKkl9YkGcZu31Ml4bfKsnstbYEYwy0r0MlCIZscuE_EIsinCYnO86XMR4ZVnARWrGOANvtMk4XpoqVOBdRIlIk02SaNo/s400/saddest-picture.jpg" /></a><br /><div>In 1993 Kevin Carter made a trip to Southern Sudan and took this picture.The picture would later bring him the Pulitzer Prize but also death. the child had stop to rest while struggling to reach a refugee camp...nearby a vulture is waiting for the child to die....it is a horrific picture that gave people the true look at the dire condition in sub-Saharan Africa. Kevin Carter then came under a lot of scrutiny for spending over 20 minutes setting up the photo instead of helping the child. 3 months after the picture was taken..he commited suicide..</div><div><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="color:black;">He said:</span></span><span style="color:black;"><span style="color:black;"> </span></span><span style="color:black;"><span style="color:black;">Dear God,</span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:black;"><br /><br />I promise I will never waste my food no matter how bad it can taste and how full I may be. I pray that He will protect this little boy, guide and deliver him away from his misery. I pray that we will be more sensitive towards the world around us and not be blinded by our own selfish nature and interests. </span></span><span style="color:blue;"><span style="color:blue;"></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span style="color:black;"><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;">I hope this picture will always serve as a reminder to us that how fortunate we are and that we must never ever take things for granted. Let's make a prayer for the suffering in anywhere anyplace around the globe and send this friendly reminder to others "Think & look at this... when you complain about your food and the food we wasted daily.......</span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:black;">.</span></span><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:black;"><br /><br /></span></span></p><!--mstheme--><!--mstheme--><span style="font-family:Arial;"><!--mstheme--></span><!--msnavigation--></div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-8599721997147783122010-02-15T01:23:00.000-08:002010-02-15T01:25:23.145-08:0013.2.2010<br />passed<br />felt relieved<br />but still feeling bad and awfull<br />when will this end?<br />it has to be soon<br />i am geting really old<br />and at he same time wasting my timedaphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-73314663385555691802010-02-05T04:30:00.000-08:002010-02-05T04:35:59.311-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcBRFBwWn09ErR7PgW3L7xF4jnrmHiVlg2RQBwBJVaJ4jT5qRmvs3uOS7i7-VWLX8rRnNNoLJkwdt7ygqAp91wiFhVi3USFj8GRaQlI2fY6GvsWY8nifCx3bx_cQavF2arKjwQQTyTa6U/s1600-h/thinking-cap.gif"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 244px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 198px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434736861319402370" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcBRFBwWn09ErR7PgW3L7xF4jnrmHiVlg2RQBwBJVaJ4jT5qRmvs3uOS7i7-VWLX8rRnNNoLJkwdt7ygqAp91wiFhVi3USFj8GRaQlI2fY6GvsWY8nifCx3bx_cQavF2arKjwQQTyTa6U/s400/thinking-cap.gif" /></a><br /><div>not looking forward to the 13.02.2010</div><br /><div>have a bad feeling about that day. wish could escape it.but cant.so have to face it.damm.</div><br /><div>i keep going through the same thing over and over again but i still cant change myself.</div><br /><div>gosh. i am really weak with no determination to overcome it.</div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-10483080925515902642010-02-04T07:55:00.000-08:002010-02-04T08:05:42.682-08:00she really left me speechless...<br /><br />its hard to say what the real reason is but i really dont like her...i dont hate her just dont like her..<br />we as students are here to get education that we dont have. we are here to get the skills that are necessary and we are paying..<br />what is the point of doing a job you are not good at it<br />what is the point of taking your monthly pay when when you are clearly taking advantage of your situation<br />you know that we will do anything just to pass our exams<br />you know that we are paying and dont want to waste our time<br />so for you..just talking and reading something that clearly you are not good at and putting fate on the line<br />she is clearly gambling with our lives.daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-30257538679028442302010-02-02T04:04:00.000-08:002010-02-02T07:04:30.035-08:00<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;"><strong>PART 1</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">i am in this road<br />i made the choice and i am</span> sticking with it till the end<br />i am going to be the best<br />an excellent one<br /><div align="left">yet this road is really a difficult one</div><div align="left">which one isnt right?</div><div align="left">i chose this road alone</div><div align="left">no one influenced me</div><div align="left">just me</div><div align="left">so right now it feels like i am walking alone</div><div align="left">dont be mistaken, i am not complaining</div><div align="left">its just walking alone its starting to weigh up..</div><div align="left">i dont know how to explain nor do i know how to tell someone about it..</div><div align="left">i dont think its meant to be told...its meant for me to deal with it alone..</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">PART 2</span></strong></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">alone</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">this word its really a part of my life</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i like being alone</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">that is when i shut the entire world out and the only ones left is me, myself and i</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">it gives me chance to comfort myself</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">there are certain things that i cant say out</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i dont wish to say out</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">so the only way for me get through it its just by comforting myself( it works though)</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">but sometimes</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">it gets really difficult to deal somethings alone</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i cant complain</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">because complaining means i cant do it</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i cant cry because i dont want and will not look weak </span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i know its stupid to feel this way</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i wouldnt want my friends to be thinking this way</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">but if you know me then you should know my own advice doesnt work for me</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i know i can do this</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i can get through this</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i know i can</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i have to</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">but sometimes my own weakness gets the best of me</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">and everything falls back to square one</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">and i have to start all over</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">but i wont complain because if its something i have to do to be the best i will do it</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">PART 3 </span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i am pushing myself to be the best</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i dont want other people to force me to be the best</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i want to be the one forcing myself</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">so if i make a mistake</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i can blame myself</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">if insecurity comes in i have to blame myself</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">if others can do it well and i cant i have to blame myself</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i am my own judge</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">PART4</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i beg myself to be the best</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">PART 5</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i cant cry so i smile</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">PART6</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;">i will get through this. i know i will.. and as for my friends dont worry...my life is worth too much for me to be sad and depressed =))</span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;"></span> </div><div align="left"> </div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-79673592330629193292009-11-16T08:05:00.000-08:002009-11-16T08:09:34.510-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCp0AoBss_VtpaRGV3Rx66x5FBohjuU03X3_oGbdCZy2FVmqe4SOGVGcktmWN4Zb_YSrsxGCDhrMS-6tGeuRsn6UKE-h2nLGf8TVDe2XWOibVbL9amn7BkHwYd6x9Je2hllgqoqn-oRGI/s1600/haapy.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 271px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404734174378884386" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCp0AoBss_VtpaRGV3Rx66x5FBohjuU03X3_oGbdCZy2FVmqe4SOGVGcktmWN4Zb_YSrsxGCDhrMS-6tGeuRsn6UKE-h2nLGf8TVDe2XWOibVbL9amn7BkHwYd6x9Je2hllgqoqn-oRGI/s400/haapy.jpg" /></a><br /><div>i am really fine now..</div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-77368325529169132352009-11-15T06:20:00.000-08:002009-11-15T06:30:55.417-08:00just leave me alone..<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWioY6JYhXSsSR_87FYaQoJnetrcPj14UTdRQuCE5UGSraJyvP_WVQNHgt1ZfLbuBgIcQBn67OdtZFpKluS6gvazIpct0VI4_Lg3OJEUhxbnWaNZk7mQ4HpnRJO-bYH9_HzqQahyphenhyphenH3C-Q/s1600-h/img-set.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404337499439066146" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWioY6JYhXSsSR_87FYaQoJnetrcPj14UTdRQuCE5UGSraJyvP_WVQNHgt1ZfLbuBgIcQBn67OdtZFpKluS6gvazIpct0VI4_Lg3OJEUhxbnWaNZk7mQ4HpnRJO-bYH9_HzqQahyphenhyphenH3C-Q/s200/img-set.jpg" /></a><br /><div>I am so frustrated with myself</div><br /><div>i cant sleep</div><br /><div>i cant think straight</div><br /><div>my mind is blank</div><br /><div>i am restless</div><br /><div>i feel guilty</div><br /><div>i am really tired</div><br /><div>not looking forward to christmas at all this year</div><br /><div>i know what to expect</div><br /><div>and i dont ant to face it</div><br /><div>is exhausting...</div><br /><div>both of them are exhausting me</div><br /><div>they are exhausting me</div><br /><div>i just want to be left alone</div><br /><div>i dont want to talk</div><br /><div>just...</div><br /><div>left alone...</div><br /><div></div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-32657237504870293622009-11-09T05:09:00.000-08:002009-11-09T05:26:17.155-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaNCuJQFXf6DB82x-S-2_n-F26YLj8qjmuMNzS-pPow4xyPQiljYkSxs-dWalf_8JRcZSVnyxBy_lD7XeARwcDAXPAsOwcaX87DQPpQgY-nCFIWnOCbnihNgjG33WerSDXma_Kxdh6jjY/s1600-h/jkjkjjyyk3fy7.png"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 190px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5402094359827121106" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaNCuJQFXf6DB82x-S-2_n-F26YLj8qjmuMNzS-pPow4xyPQiljYkSxs-dWalf_8JRcZSVnyxBy_lD7XeARwcDAXPAsOwcaX87DQPpQgY-nCFIWnOCbnihNgjG33WerSDXma_Kxdh6jjY/s200/jkjkjjyyk3fy7.png" /></a><br /><div>its getting more complicated...</div><br /><div>dont know what to do...</div><br /><div>follow my way or follow the right way...</div><br /><div>scared to follow my way</div><br /><div>but really want to follow my own way...</div><br /><div>i want to scream...</div><br /><div>P.S: i really really hate spiders.....</div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-50732054378670460382009-11-02T05:07:00.000-08:002009-11-02T05:13:09.878-08:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvzuAxWXvw-tirGPr0490p9UOzQRYPY0cWDtlEe7W1UfnbeTnJDSR-4SxrJMiWVAtzDT6O0ZllMFPWSaIedCQ8UnmS5cPdefrW10sFAMhXoKND1CibN07EAYITg8inTL4l5dSrXklVX-8/s1600-h/wierdgirl.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 300px; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399493501912893410" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvzuAxWXvw-tirGPr0490p9UOzQRYPY0cWDtlEe7W1UfnbeTnJDSR-4SxrJMiWVAtzDT6O0ZllMFPWSaIedCQ8UnmS5cPdefrW10sFAMhXoKND1CibN07EAYITg8inTL4l5dSrXklVX-8/s320/wierdgirl.jpg" /></a><br /><div>today was not a good day...</div><br /><div>i dont know how to explain..</div><br /><div>maybe i will forget it tomorrow</div><br /><div>hopefully</div><br /><div>dont want to talk about it</div><br /><div>it happens all the time</div><br /><div>and it.bothers.me.all.the.time</div><br /><div>but i will forget about it</div><br /><div>and remember it when it happens..</div><br /><div>its just my thought</div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-71035346220905875212009-11-01T06:10:00.000-08:002009-11-01T06:40:24.177-08:00Love is the reason...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjq6OpSbIkSAQXF9fIIHVJ0g40NjlYrddC-ROVTbzHR2KtsaKI1WdyUhxfFGB4gMI-nohx5RXazb5Ai-ta0tBBuBbsMwaQ17PDa-ABWQBNAhmP240k25U0Am7QU-PP8bThUl-nSfUSeGY/s1600-h/baba.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399144919952087906" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjq6OpSbIkSAQXF9fIIHVJ0g40NjlYrddC-ROVTbzHR2KtsaKI1WdyUhxfFGB4gMI-nohx5RXazb5Ai-ta0tBBuBbsMwaQ17PDa-ABWQBNAhmP240k25U0Am7QU-PP8bThUl-nSfUSeGY/s320/baba.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxk6xiLlJN8w2s2e6Bfqe6kKTLcMrCa6Z100vuWYh8O4GkHzjag-oAYhXTZlyD1_p09u6xw6hgCaPzBpeEVJmBE4PAZNZHDnityhO1bkusMdAz_34S06o_A0HsvVbJCP7G8H80H4GEcWM/s1600-h/Emo_Love-5.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399143073437459826" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxk6xiLlJN8w2s2e6Bfqe6kKTLcMrCa6Z100vuWYh8O4GkHzjag-oAYhXTZlyD1_p09u6xw6hgCaPzBpeEVJmBE4PAZNZHDnityhO1bkusMdAz_34S06o_A0HsvVbJCP7G8H80H4GEcWM/s320/Emo_Love-5.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div>why do people get in a relationship?</div><br /><br /><div>why do people have to be together?</div><br /><br /><div>why...must they be together?</div><br /><br /><div>if you love someone must you be together with that someone?</div><br /><br /><div>what can you achieve by being together?</div><br /><br /><div>what kind of fufilment do you get by being together?</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>Lets just say that you are with that special someone that you 'love'</div><br /><br /><div>then why do you end the relationship?</div><br /><br /><div>is it because you stop loving that person?</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>Can one really stop loving someone they loved so much that you had to be together with that person?</div><br /><br /><div>Then theorically love brought you both together and also love brought you apart??</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div></div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-20034151816123365572009-09-26T04:26:00.000-07:002009-09-26T05:46:35.306-07:00in a hope... that one day we wont end up like them...............finally i am updating my blog...............<br /><br />recently i was posted to a nursing home for my clinical training<br />and all i can say is that i thought heartless children only lived in television<br />its sad to see these elderly here<br />i mean every one of them wants to go home...<br />i can understand that feeling...<br />even when i am in college i want to go home<br />its the only place one can find real comfort<br />its the only place you can be yourself<br />but the elderly here cant really be at home<br />some of their children have really reasonable reasons for putting their parents there<br />some is just outright absurd..[they will rot in hell for doing this]<br />i dont want to ever do this to my mum<br />i can never do this to my mum<br />i will kill myself first before my mum enters any nursing home<br /><br />there was a lady around the age of 50 to 60 to 70<br />i am not sure<br />but she suffered from stroke<br />became paralyse in one side<br />she came there to recover<br />and her recovery progress was really fast<br />but each morning after she had her shower<br />she would cry<br />she would tell us that she never expected this to happen to her<br />it just happened<br />then last week she was suppose to go home<br />i could feel she was excited<br />i know she wanted to go home<br />so her husband and son came to fetch her<br />she keep reminding her husband to learn from the nurses there<br />how to move her<br />how to carry her<br />and all that she left i heard one of the staff say that she will be at home only for a few days<br />her husband and son are going to transfer her to another nursing home in johor<br />what <a href="mailto:the!@#$%">the!@#$%</a>^&**()<br />the way a human heart works is really a mystery<br />they may have their reasons<br />but.... that lady....<br />that lady only have them to turn to in her life<br /><br />if i could see the future and know that one day i might be bedridden and the man that i married and the children that i gave birth to and brought would up put me in a nursing home because they cant cope.... i pray to god to let me remain single and lonely.. let me live my life for someone something worthy....<br /><br />one of the nurse said something that i think should be tattoed on anyone who sends their parents to a nursing home because they are just too busy.....<br /> '....we take care of the elderly here, we do our best in caring for them, we spend our<br /> time helping them recover in one hope that we wont end up like them.....'<br /><br />each drop of sweat your parents shed after your birth is for your future<br />each time they cry is for the hope their children to live a better life<br />each moment you cry is a stab to their hearts<br /> but<br />each drop of sweat you shed is for your own self<br />each time you cry is for yourself<br />each moment they cry<br />you can never feel the pain<br />because<br />you chose not to..daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-11453053028357502162008-11-20T17:34:00.000-08:002008-11-20T18:04:53.303-08:00<div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4c-w9mm6ZoOtdq0RiuXFvAs8NItlgrhtlWTLhcmqzMSjOXkn_8MstgffhmYZY_IkPCDCDJAYa9LD9nPedTiDFYv0SG6MQ1BZ_zQr2G6P1Fmta_2OHAumw_-rrWFvyNZSLSWHbaXf72eo/s1600-h/Emo%20(240).jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270925132933989954" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 209px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4c-w9mm6ZoOtdq0RiuXFvAs8NItlgrhtlWTLhcmqzMSjOXkn_8MstgffhmYZY_IkPCDCDJAYa9LD9nPedTiDFYv0SG6MQ1BZ_zQr2G6P1Fmta_2OHAumw_-rrWFvyNZSLSWHbaXf72eo/s320/Emo%2520(240).jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div>change</div><br /><br /><br /><div>how does a person change?</div><br /><br /><br /><div>does changing bring a lot of difference in life?</div><br /><br /><br /><div>what is change?</div><br /><br /><br /><div>being someone you're not is changing.</div><br /><br /><br /><div>is it a bad thing to be someone you are not?</div><br /><br /><br /><div>if being someone you are not gives you happiness and fufillment then i think its a good thing.</div><br /><br /><br /><div>if being someone you are not gives you happiness but misery to those around you .... </div><br /><br /><br /><div>then is this chnage good or bad?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu663NRg_Thj9jd1DrESktvQrN4YLj3k5hsDYBBI2-hjfGlTiNjhYki3abP3PXc9x0YqkCC8Opq1-JDgtKpe_Ype0pVpnNLhBf01GI1rrCl302w_KzdCzANpygRybZ4XrHPDIzlN00thY/s1600-h/2283597567_85432bfc87.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270925412049284210" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 270px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 241px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu663NRg_Thj9jd1DrESktvQrN4YLj3k5hsDYBBI2-hjfGlTiNjhYki3abP3PXc9x0YqkCC8Opq1-JDgtKpe_Ype0pVpnNLhBf01GI1rrCl302w_KzdCzANpygRybZ4XrHPDIzlN00thY/s320/2283597567_85432bfc87.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><div>do you forsake others for your own happiness or forsake yourself for their happiness? </div><br /><br /><br /><div>who comes first, yourself or the people around you?</div><br /><br /><br /><div>how do you change without forsaking anyone's happiness?</div><br /><br /><br /><div>Forsake yourself for others happiness is being noble.</div><br /><br /><br /><div>Forsake others for your happiness is being true to yourself.</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkxjM1PxVkONNrRjOYd4VUhV8vPVJOVdjbbpP_LAce2UHR104ocPS43fBbE5WUMZ4wrLVk31p_wXyBrLNsDdT3122F3Vr7LoRRVi4YWmFCmL9SxygQX-ZB6a4T2es5WfK8GIrQFHKhHrU/s1600-h/Emo%20(243).jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270925675012052850" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 222px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkxjM1PxVkONNrRjOYd4VUhV8vPVJOVdjbbpP_LAce2UHR104ocPS43fBbE5WUMZ4wrLVk31p_wXyBrLNsDdT3122F3Vr7LoRRVi4YWmFCmL9SxygQX-ZB6a4T2es5WfK8GIrQFHKhHrU/s320/Emo%2520(243).jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div>so which should i choose?</div></div></div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-5771438010172430842008-08-12T18:22:00.000-07:002008-08-12T18:23:49.497-07:00<em><span style="font-size:180%;">6 days before i tell my mother the truth</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:180%;">hopefully she doesnt find out before that...</span></em>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-85637570707366418412008-08-09T19:21:00.000-07:002008-08-09T19:46:13.487-07:00<p>what does it feels like to be locked outside your own house</p><p>it feels like.....</p><p>when you lose your wallet which is full of water</p><p>+</p><p>when you start running around the world only to find out in the end the world have run out of water</p><p>+</p><p>not being able to say anything suddenly because out of no where you lost your voice</p><p>yup.. as you have already guessed i was locked out of my house</p><p>i forgot to bring my house key when i left</p><p>but i thought it didnt matter since my brother was at home</p><p>after waitinng so long for a bus and i was so happy to be finally home</p><p>i rang the doorbell with the hope that my wonderfull brother will open the door for me...</p><p>i rang the doorbell for atleast 5 minutes</p><p>the only doors that opened was my neighbours... even they could hear my doorbelll but only my wonderfull brother couldnt</p><p>i called his stupid handphone 20 times the only voice i heard was </p><p>"the person you dialled is currently unavailable..plese try again later"</p><p>yes.. after 20 calls i have made a conclusion that her mother only taught her to say that line... </p><p>poor thing</p><p>so i continued to knock and ring the doorbell</p><p>the whole block heard it except for my darling brother</p><p>so at this point my mind was not at a normal level</p><p>so i did something that i would not have done if my mind was at a normal level</p><p>i went down to the ground floor....</p><p>i went towards where my brothers window was located....(that was what i thought)</p><p>and i screamed on top of my voice calling my brothers name and also some very not pleasent words...(keep in mind my mind was not at a normal level)</p><p>so basically i screamed until i ran out of breath</p><p>eveyone was looking of of their window</p><p>except for my brother</p><p>then</p><p>i realise</p><p>my brothers</p><p>window was </p><p>not located at where i thought it was</p><p>it was at the opposite side</p><p>yes </p><p>i totally felt that i lost my mind at that time</p><p>so i went to the opposite side</p><p>and screamed for my brother</p><p>and out of no where i heard</p><p>"WHAT"</p><p>from my brothers window</p><p>i still had some energy to screamed from the ground floor and scold him</p><p>i had every right to scold him</p><p>only thing i should have done it when i was in my house... my bad</p><p>after that i was never seen a a polite young lady anymore in my neighbours eyes</p><p>when i went up to my house my neighbours were laughing and the only thing i could have said was </p><p>desperate times calls for desperate measures.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-85495184514498533032008-06-13T18:35:00.000-07:002008-12-09T17:13:26.271-08:00MY SPECIAL DAY<div><br /><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div>My special day….<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211554070267025122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKy5g3Vau3wHG6FWbprCAaFg-feooY2u7lF1pdiPAzNLi63w2s2IupiMlraEdb_VUKv5MpirGy4k09Xo6mOB1H0dsb-lZJwSQyt2GDSz_s6si0EvXf9P-_JwF9n3r8jb1hj0VZch_luGE/s320/08-06-08_1349.jpg" border="0" /><br />8 june 2008…<br />i met xue ying at city square at 12.00 pm<br />she wanted to treat me lunch<br />so we went to VIVO<br />from the time I met her at mc donalds till we were at VIVO she kept saying she was disappointed with Wen Nee for not being able to celebrate my birthday with me<br />Knowing Xue Ying for many years already I knew she was up to something..<br />Because she will never be angry with someone she is close with her unless that someone makes her feel like a fool.<br />So I knew she would never be angry with Wen Nee<br />So to not make her feel that I knew what was going on<br />I went along with her story…<br />Then after a while at VIVO..<br />Wen Nee popped out…<br />I knew they were going to surprise me but I didn’t expect to get a shock out of it…<br />I was shaking after that<br />So my dear Xue Ying I was not surprised I was shocked.. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211551020719781218" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5SfcPf7tB5ka8hCZYj4xCqps5d-XNXqLzDRPRi_VZy0dUU4GhX86yeZWyihfd3p-Jrd2WNR4zI061i8rNgNIbyJ_O6pSzVRPxRNOSY191oVuA6LRg5Bfzumri6EBkQOAcb2lMtkpp3Jw/s320/DSCN4551.JPG" border="0" /><br />Then after lunch my dear friend Ikhwan brought out the Caramel Pudding he made …<br />At that moment I was so touched….<br />The pudding was very delicious…<br />I feel bad I coulnt finish it<br />Because it was really a large portion<br />But I loved it <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211552453041866738" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-9sh_i1uUEOeXP-OQE65A-XsskEEofdxRLXlXq8JRikLKlB5p3V-0uoVbVBveGCm1LAsV4tgo_NRLyjXT4iHDcqKYeQ4g5wUVv5rsrVyaDLM-XGHUaks8r4Lge6xMO41OXe5mDGSrBR0/s320/DSCN4547.JPG" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211550657253233266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhJ52lk19fXo-sEoMjzoXvOGUQdzwuVUePrY9utjZOpL8xL1PUmQ_NaxjXxiczlb28374qDoRXgQv9f27JQSp-gweODBcIFB9M8qbbVbaDFJ7hdV2-6apGHs-tK7qPYEasxl2p90MGZEw/s320/DSCN4552.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211550315721174258" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdAuiL1FCWdaiwHVeCymtA2HIYFG6kLFxItG1uEx9jliiFfq6BgpWhyP7zbmgVoFKmm5Cru4iq4RbhD5KpXHlBBKqCWloQleteDFK3fA7YcK_p880i7-7I0rSyjhXQIa89k2cs1SPj97k/s320/DSCN4553.JPG" border="0" /><br />My dear friend Ikhwan was also the first person to wish me<br />So I would like to take this opportunity to thank him<br />For everything…<br />Then there is my new ‘lover’ Wen Nee..<br />I thank you so much for tha hand-made Birthday Card<br />I really love it<br />I would tressure the card you Made for me for the rest of my life <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211551718217274818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI-ZvAHtcUQi1wP3EjkbXRPWgz9OEjqjnzfjFRYABcu585Igl1zl0zhYoX4k7XwpCkP28qq9CXfWqw4npOKwH0SyKfaupFHEuA-_P1IVMAw1DDzWEH0wooX_yyl9086gu-FDw-AdtCo5Q/s320/DSCN4548.JPG" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211546381934628418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrlFGzBfevX3K3DV4ZppK91f0JwO6mCbEceHZJo46vPzMkfjgs5r16y_pmsf0fTgQz9xNBgmqZlRExTQDHetXfXsI6lwX4pUJmKYEnAQr4xJBIuZw9qqvc4X4wJnMBfQvLZQoLlAMwsp8/s320/DSCN4572.JPG" border="0" /><br />Then there was also Sez Hui<br />She is really afraid of pudding<br />So I guess it was really a torture for her to see a large pudding<br />So I would like to thank her for being there and not complaining even after seeing a large pudding<br /><br />Then there was the very cute Joanne<br />She is really very cute<br />Even though we got to know each other only for a short while<br />She never made me feel that way<br />She made me feel like I have known her for ages<br />She will always laugh for no special reason<br />Thank you so much for celebrating my birthday with me<br />Thank you for making a long journey from Kulai to spend my birthday with me <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211548214906788178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1AliR1FHdzWmzE44puxpdatiu0hBcLDXdxwDTInGLmFrraliT6rR1Ykjcrr-zfaDrVljc8QNkezGopliBYS8gbyHeAW-WvT4qsFnwcG9jNxwa5SwiXijHKYf3EQ7PLyrjlwPXqdHVICg/s320/DSCN4569.JPG" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211553673942232034" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgChjUPSy9FRSwYQxbGhvWhinbMMgce4Ryy2UZGIuj1Au7h2EQIXRnSIVjjU8fUAnCzyhfYQ0IDLJmZJQJyddg76G-ux-JBLfx_rVvtQwZi5vmjIeitGEVOWjr6oHFoXVfOaqQfoTJbMZ4/s320/08-06-08_1353.jpg" border="0" /><br />Then there was also Koo…<br />We used to call him anti- social<br />Because he never liked going out<br />But he changed a lot..<br />Thank you so much for making it that day<br />I wont forget our deal. <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211549953340743122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6hElhonRHPW24ZX_GIY8nbFx3Uwn5jopsvU3NHDDgauzrMamU7M0eo0HO80__Tku07-55yv7D0QcdgZPByQJqXKkMTOIF9T55ZRaCiyEuNaAQQ9Mup0Viwb_96c-D11UqW7Yj_zfDqEs/s320/DSCN4554.JPG" border="0" /><br />Then there is my dearest best friend Ng Xue Ying a.k.a orangeyou made my day a special day<br />She called me while she was watching movie in the cinema with<br />Lydia, Pinky and Pui Yee<br />Lydia sang a portion of the birthday song for me and the rest of them wished me.. Thanks so much<br />After today I can make a conclusion orange is not very good at lying<br />Thank you so much for the surprise and the shock<br />I really appreciate it <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211548552976831730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUKD1pnpMUlQmzPP8gpoyC-Oizjw_AwHBz24nrdbHVJlvZl0HNNA8ybNT_CBF6cSN3Sx0jrGmi47-NrIprOdzgbUz7OzfI_Wa6lnl_PJwH1F05v_hmDYWYKtfFetaNfkBq0SKr3Grihpo/s320/DSCN4566.JPG" border="0" /> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211551320188173554" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYrYvKgqv2qstG1n4WLbXPG258vVKtQ2GAoV94k39RlqHRrgW8Ny_7hoZ04IEMLOBzH05X4IHfP3XvymA0QhkwlPnQGIEWMW7tnNbUEnepRZvOqxQ15LgKAQttQM54ejgG7gUI0CsaDk/s320/DSCN4550.JPG" border="0" /><br />Orange was also the last person to wish me happy birthday and also the first to wish me happy belated birthday <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211546123472373154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0z7v-ew2rf7n273hzC4At0gdGLWIeeLvfaT1wU9qCfwjgy14yAdhcohzrV2pto4kBUykVYxCgZ17xLxSB5GXk_tffV-YDqAc4kCLlK0G_THCFUA4x1CiFRypHPZSjIviyqrQ_X-ac5eg/s320/DSCN4574.JPG" border="0" /><br />Wen Nee, Sez Hui, Joanne, Ikhwan, Koo, and also my dearest Xue Ying<br />Thank you so much for a wonderfull day<br />I really appreciate it<br />To those who remembered my birthday <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211546591369132498" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg70zHgSq4lLLS3vspJjt9WzeKtGArBBDsa7t48T5WTI2XKnizNCjQhuzvxZghbBz5RcHqwLD-jfLhn52K4ee6K_4gw67120Mp-pctcBURuYn68a7J0o0UHqYWBJUwIAyjCbOLWMXFpog0/s320/DSCN4571.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br />Thank you so much…<br />I really appreciate it. </div></div></div></div></div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211552993674979362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHpq0_tZ4BUraRXHhH3u8rj-MnI9d3ONIxzLvX7T40GyC_31yA-9IDSke-MeKULP8D1Lelm8t6azYHdbpb3Od5kJC8Ph9Ae2jltg6kde01srdUemYxk1x9YBdg4W-f11VVVWMBGzBf_I/s320/08-06-08_1402.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211546862997178690" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikxn2Q5EIqD1ZVgbbnNHDqyMWmNlKF02qoUDdIaVkJFLn_c6dc03-OzAGKUx2WUcezvnHYwrrRRx_wB-VRKHHMGSEZmcarmtCsKT4kopVTgeza8gAzBHdCs7b4DDhBmgiUqmGlcTLBqFw/s320/DSCN4570.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211545865650836882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAYaEEQGJPVN1MKH9nHMfTaD4M1WjnooSqjkztnxScCfVz0E5AIoekhE3F91IRFA_qWEdIOS7QJL9X6sBXe6pbzuGYiID-SnSqV7t6NvGYZXLFTUEP5LCdeztFkZWH6bnvqWjApT7hLlE/s320/DSCN4575.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211545525506941250" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ4_sibD0pCx9EbKBQhXl_3vDYBYSiH5_6Sg291vlsUEfWScGyrZR-VjFqDmbdX5kWbDwAMNa8gq4AMIz1FXRX9GJKi63vWqoms2o0DbeAAEK-IVMyEGxBPbGWdq9YAv_SP0ccnP_294U/s320/DSCN4576.JPG" border="0" /></div></div></div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211552774640539538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhllFsePPXNb8k4QGpDjt5nxLnAFg3ZsFOA5K0INGIXdva-gyjF2oLDM-asATbRrwhILduSnAe90Ur8v-o3RiUANccoNzBW0CwTRs6YQkTdiYBlDbUnUD_ptZZ7dR_QRc-yvzoXbjydBBM/s320/08-06-08_1403.jpg" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211548974348581586" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI2sWniB9hZfrYz4xXY6WCDhyphenhyphen5qCYS0JlUMgDW5qrZScXXXOTiwY4GiHw0t4-Ple9H6aeilB9znFYpltyElin4E4RqQCpZu3sjltqRX_fGxraeh680RyNhR_uaNGJbPyJ3254xUatCJos/s320/DSCN4565.JPG" border="0" /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211549601747510338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfi99w4JdxVRHIASCYDWRH1lZFh42VAKoU0wJd0s5uIoHaXjJZi3bqg4IjHguPP2z8M4D16omE2Pn6bRpbr28Plj-NBEOnnXLUVT9bl899jpUCmDM-3WlyK7gbZ4STKod3Ne1luymnUHU/s320/DSCN4560.JPG" border="0" /></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211553880144685970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyWJ4XNBUZuW3EoZo32iM1DWmLfIBN8gMX60iJ2Q2hAr4TJ5-qtmcYvmhsmLhu9pnxih1LHXc8ouxG-ztPxf7YwglhUB7N4MW7nUAPoWtOzBemPVXBun0eRfAidqdAI_NpRLkjUNyMn6Y/s320/08-06-08_1350.jpg" border="0" />daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-6735854629834168442008-03-13T01:54:00.000-07:002008-03-13T01:55:34.527-07:00wont be updating my blog for a while.maybe after my exam.......really sorry about it.......daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-29692676436477714402008-01-23T22:51:00.000-08:002008-12-09T17:13:27.288-08:00<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVDP2nxV1V0jfSjiGy6W1h0dumwDu2SihnOU4e110zRotMiJEcFs_CpugZ8TEIpURESsSGGqGOzJO05QAkot5E5MKc9_u2K41VlMHK84ZTAoYU1YWqdNI1uoyrZdp58CUcN_KZRKlBki0/s1600-h/b9b30ef9cbbb9bc32f5cdd8709f61c96.jpg"></a> </div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVDP2nxV1V0jfSjiGy6W1h0dumwDu2SihnOU4e110zRotMiJEcFs_CpugZ8TEIpURESsSGGqGOzJO05QAkot5E5MKc9_u2K41VlMHK84ZTAoYU1YWqdNI1uoyrZdp58CUcN_KZRKlBki0/s1600-h/b9b30ef9cbbb9bc32f5cdd8709f61c96.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5158932669093877106" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVDP2nxV1V0jfSjiGy6W1h0dumwDu2SihnOU4e110zRotMiJEcFs_CpugZ8TEIpURESsSGGqGOzJO05QAkot5E5MKc9_u2K41VlMHK84ZTAoYU1YWqdNI1uoyrZdp58CUcN_KZRKlBki0/s320/b9b30ef9cbbb9bc32f5cdd8709f61c96.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div>i have been feeling really lousy these few days........and worst of all i really dont know why........</div><div>weird right.........</div><div>anyway nothing much is going on in my life these days</div><div>just the daily routine of attending class doing homework..........</div><div>i really want to be rebellious and do stuff that i normally wont dare to do.........</div><div> i want to scold all sorts of bad words and throw insults at people who make me feel lousy</div><div> i want to go out late night and get drunk without having to consider about my mum</div><div> i want to yell at my family for chosing money over family</div><div> i want to travel around the world without any</div><div> worries............</div><div>what i am asking and wishing for right now seems really impossible but i still have this tiny little ray of hope maybe it will happe.........</div><div> </div>daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-19646952574907244072008-01-04T02:24:00.000-08:002008-01-04T02:39:31.571-08:00test. test. test.tutorials and all those stuff that can make you do well in your exam is really driving me crazy............<br />i guess i havent really been working hard these days<br />its a new year.2008<br />no new year resolution<br />just need to tahan for 4 months<br />then later can enjoy<br />i think........daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-43241572488509645892007-12-27T05:51:00.000-08:002007-12-27T06:07:43.744-08:00XMAS 2007so xmas just passed<br />it wasnt really up to last year standard<br />but it was not that bad<br />last year xmas was really eventfull......<br />as usual we went to church<br />then we all gathered at my grandma's house<br />we had a toast....wished everyone merry xmas<br />then it was present time........(this is the main point of xmas and also what keeps xmas really fun)<br />so as all of us got our presents.....<br />then after that<br />my aunts organised a karaoke competition<br />apparently i am a relly lousy singer<br />of i know that<br />but the prize is cash<br />so i was willing to emberass myself<br />but in the end i didint win anything<br />then we started partying........<br />so all this happen last year<br /><br />this year<br />everyone just concentrated on making money the most easiest way there is<br />poker<br />i didnt earn much<br />but i think i lost a lot<br />anyway on 25th night my aunts once again made us sing<br />but we the young ones didint think it was fair for us young people to do the singing<br />and the senior citizens(my aunts and uncles) just watches<br />i mean they are getting older and soon they may not even be able to sing anymore<br />so we didint want to be selfish so senior citizen had to take part in the singing<br />we the young ones were given the honour of selecting the winner among all the senior citizen that participated<br />just to add a spoiler we decided to choose the lousiest and most awfull sounding pair as winners<br />hahaha<br />anyway after that we playe TABOO(where u guess what the word ur teammate is describing)<br />it was the battle between the male and the female<br />i dont really know who won<br />but anyway that is how this year xmas ended<br />i wonder how new year will be.........<br />well i just have to wait and se.............daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-9643359580906368182007-10-14T08:59:00.000-07:002007-10-14T09:06:22.563-07:00is old gold?smile was bright<br />just the right reaction<br />you were waiting<br />not for many<br />atleast just one to come and see you<br /><br />as days go by ask myself<br />what do you look forward to the most<br />your children,grandchildren or great grandchildrenor<br />even maybe death<br /><br />is death really something you really look forward to?<br />isnt 'old gold'?<br />is it that lonely now?<br />do you really feel dying is a wise action?<br />do you think all will be ok if you are gone?<br /><br />i detest the way you trated my mum<br />i detest the way your children treated my mum<br />i detest the way us when we were young<br />i detest that you are happy to see me only now<br /><br />i have many reasons to detest you<br />and i think of what might happen if you leave<br />the pillar of this family leaves too<br />the reason to be together leaves<br />and so does our family bond<br />so what is left is justa memory of once<br />there was a pillar and how things happened then<br /><br />Old may be Gold<br />maybe not for you<br />but the people around you<br />the OLD is a GOLD pillar<br />that everyone must tressure<br />it may take time<br />for everyone to realise<br />the pillar is GOLD<br />but when they do<br />i am afraid it might be to latedaphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-77239591884953569912007-10-06T02:29:00.000-07:002007-10-06T02:44:16.511-07:00what the.........is it jealousy<br />maybe not............<br />how can i be jealous of them<br />they cant hurt me.....i think<br />maybe i am just sad it ended up this way<br /><br />life is really unpredictable<br />one day they are normal<br />another day u hear something shocking about them<br />one minute they seem alright<br />but if you see them everyday for more than three hours<br />you will finally see their true colours<br />SELFISH ,SELF-CENTERED,RUDE,and<br />ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOURSELF<br />pain in the ass person<br /><br />do not ask me who i am refering to<br />i will only tell you if i am totally drunk<br />or wasted.....<br />so how to deal with the people changing around you?<br />A: just remain true to yourself and let them realise that they have change for the worse<br />AMEN.<br /><br /><br /><br />(a little joke i made after seeing a book title in popular)<br />P.S:Q: who rape the lock<br /> A:a key<br /><br />get the joke........yes.........no.........never mind lah..........daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5320999590076944059.post-17982770325303173182007-09-26T00:13:00.000-07:002007-09-26T00:17:30.605-07:00my family........Family ties is very important………that is what my family always says. When I mention family I am also referring to my aunts uncles cousins nephew and nieces. I come from a very big family and also a very close knit family. What I mean by close knit family is that we always celebrate xmas ,easter and so on together. When I was a kid I was oblivious to my surroundings. during xmas I will get excited to receive presents and also have a lot of fun with my cousins but as years went by and I entered my teenage phase I started to be observant and also cautious .i realize I couldn’t be my true self in front of my huge family but when I am with my mum and brothers its totally different because they know the real me and I am not afraid to show my true colours when I am around them but when I am around my huge family I cant be myself instead I am not really myself when I am around them. Its really hard to say when I started to think this way or why I am thinking this way but I cant help myself.<br />I always told myself that I would never change my trueself (always thinking I am right, voicing my displeasure when I am not happy with something and saying whatever I want when I want to) but here I am being a totally different person when I am around my huge family .I guess when I started to observe I realize that things are not really that simple around my family. there are times when I feel that my ‘huge family ’is being unreasonable and as young member In my family I cant really voice out my displeasure .There are times when I feel my huge family treats me unfairly but I cant say anything because if I do they will just call me an ill mannered girl and blame my mother for not teaching me properly. I have heard countless gossips about me and even felt that some of my family are embaressed with me by the way they acted(it was very obvious). I am not saying that my family hates me or treats me badly because they don’t and they do not only gossip about me alone almost everyone has been gossiped about. Another thing about my family that never gets me excited for the holidays is the competition in the family.i am often said to be to fat and need to lose weight .me and my brothers are not really clever so we always just manage to pass our examination and we are always looked down because our cousins will always do outstandingly in their exams.<br />My family is like the reality game survivor. The players have no choice but to live together because they are one tribe and some try their best to adjust themselves to get along with everyone but some just cant and that is when the other tribe mates starts gossiping and back stabbing and voting off one another but when it comes to family you just cant vote off somebody just because they have treated you badly<br />Even if I was given the chance to vote off someone from my family right now I don’t think I can<br />Because I believe god knew just what he was doing when he put me in this family and when I am around them I am able to know what kind of people exist in this world because when I was young I thought that this world only consist of people like my mother ,father and brothers .I also think that it is this family of mine that makes me feel that I am not alone .You see if I were to go to church on xmas eve and sing joyful xmas songs and then go home with my mum and brothers and just go to bed after that then I am not different from the people who live in homes. I realize that whatever unhappy things I went through or might go through with my family I also have many happy moments when I am with them and I know I will experience even more happiness when I am with them so why did I start this page with bad memories of my huge family ? because its only when you listed out all the bad things will you know that the good things are even more. My family is huge and each of my family members are not alike so it might be hard to try to please everyone but knowing that we are family , it doesn’t really matter if we hate each others guts or are embarresed about each other because we all know that at the end of the day that this family cant be happy if one of us is not around because god made us all out to be a family and without one of us this family can never be complete.daphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07887133005419747326noreply@blogger.com1