Family ties is very important………that is what my family always says. When I mention family I am also referring to my aunts uncles cousins nephew and nieces. I come from a very big family and also a very close knit family. What I mean by close knit family is that we always celebrate xmas ,easter and so on together. When I was a kid I was oblivious to my surroundings. during xmas I will get excited to receive presents and also have a lot of fun with my cousins but as years went by and I entered my teenage phase I started to be observant and also cautious .i realize I couldn’t be my true self in front of my huge family but when I am with my mum and brothers its totally different because they know the real me and I am not afraid to show my true colours when I am around them but when I am around my huge family I cant be myself instead I am not really myself when I am around them. Its really hard to say when I started to think this way or why I am thinking this way but I cant help myself.
I always told myself that I would never change my trueself (always thinking I am right, voicing my displeasure when I am not happy with something and saying whatever I want when I want to) but here I am being a totally different person when I am around my huge family .I guess when I started to observe I realize that things are not really that simple around my family. there are times when I feel that my ‘huge family ’is being unreasonable and as young member In my family I cant really voice out my displeasure .There are times when I feel my huge family treats me unfairly but I cant say anything because if I do they will just call me an ill mannered girl and blame my mother for not teaching me properly. I have heard countless gossips about me and even felt that some of my family are embaressed with me by the way they acted(it was very obvious). I am not saying that my family hates me or treats me badly because they don’t and they do not only gossip about me alone almost everyone has been gossiped about. Another thing about my family that never gets me excited for the holidays is the competition in the family.i am often said to be to fat and need to lose weight .me and my brothers are not really clever so we always just manage to pass our examination and we are always looked down because our cousins will always do outstandingly in their exams.
My family is like the reality game survivor. The players have no choice but to live together because they are one tribe and some try their best to adjust themselves to get along with everyone but some just cant and that is when the other tribe mates starts gossiping and back stabbing and voting off one another but when it comes to family you just cant vote off somebody just because they have treated you badly
Even if I was given the chance to vote off someone from my family right now I don’t think I can
Because I believe god knew just what he was doing when he put me in this family and when I am around them I am able to know what kind of people exist in this world because when I was young I thought that this world only consist of people like my mother ,father and brothers .I also think that it is this family of mine that makes me feel that I am not alone .You see if I were to go to church on xmas eve and sing joyful xmas songs and then go home with my mum and brothers and just go to bed after that then I am not different from the people who live in homes. I realize that whatever unhappy things I went through or might go through with my family I also have many happy moments when I am with them and I know I will experience even more happiness when I am with them so why did I start this page with bad memories of my huge family ? because its only when you listed out all the bad things will you know that the good things are even more. My family is huge and each of my family members are not alike so it might be hard to try to please everyone but knowing that we are family , it doesn’t really matter if we hate each others guts or are embarresed about each other because we all know that at the end of the day that this family cant be happy if one of us is not around because god made us all out to be a family and without one of us this family can never be complete.
