Friday, 12 November 2010
i find my thoughts interesting..
things that no one can think of i will think of it
small things that doesnt matter gets me curious and frustrated
when i was young i used to think that i was the only one with a conscious
i thought that everyone else around me didnt have an inner voice and that i was all alone in this world
i thought i was the only one who can talk to myself 'internally'
and most of all i thought i was the only one who could think and everyone else was just a body living and breathing the same air as me..eating the same food as me
i didnt there ask anyone what to do with this inner voice of mine or how to stop thinking because at that time i knew they wouldnt understand since none of them was like me
so i carried on thinking
while walking to church
i would see someone cooking and i thought to myself he has no idea i am looking at him while thinking of him because he was just a body
and i would start smilling
my mum wold scold me for smilling to myself
she said people who smiled to themselves was crazy and everyone avoids crazy people
i didnt care because everyone else was just a body but i was different
i can talk to myself without others knowing
i would go to church and see people pray out loud
but i didnt because i could pray without anyone realising i was praying
i had me inside of me
i could talk to me
i could make fun of something and only me and me knew
i could tell a lie and only me and me knew
i could walk alone in the playground and not be scared because i knew me was with me
i was in my own world
i was not scared because others was just a body
but soon these bodies started becoming scary
the seem to scare you with words and actions even though they were just bodies
when the bodies seem to get scarier
i started clinging on to my mother
eventhough she was a body she was still my mother
my mother was a different kind of body
she made me so therefore she was a special body
so i went on with my childhood clinging on to my mother
but still with me inside of me
i wasnt fearless as before but i still did things with me
i shared thoughts with me
i dont really remember whether me shared anything with me
i wonder what happen to me
was me such a small thing that as i grow older me didnt matter
did me dissapear when i found out that i was not the only one with an inner 'me'
is me still inside of me
i think it is
i just have to dig it out
to remember my childhoods innocence i need me
to remeber my childhood boldness i needed me
to remember my childhoods smile i needed me
to remember the small things that me and me shared i needed me
so i guess me never left me
and guess what???
i just shared a joke with me..AND I AM SMILLING TO MYSELF=)
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
i am in a 'P-H-A-S-E
which is totally un-tahan-ble and also un-believe-able
i mean to say i cant stand it and i cant believe i am going through it..
once again i 'never expected it'
to go in details about i am going through is a bit emberrasing and also overwhelming
i am trying to comfort myself with the facts that 'P-H-A-S-E-S' will pass
only memories and experience remains
my question to myself is when is this DAMM PHASE GOING TO PASS
i tried to look back at all the phases i went throughout 20 years of my life
but cant really remember went i lived out those phases
i am writting in circles
a circle which has no end
I am losing my mind
is this a different phase??
i am still in this circle
I AM WRITING IN CIRCLES
THAT HAS NO END
what the hell
i am thinking
i am in a circle
i shouldnt think, then i will be out of the the circle and in a box..
hopefully a blue box
a pretty blue box..
Sunday, 18 July 2010
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
He said: Dear God,
I promise I will never waste my food no matter how bad it can taste and how full I may be. I pray that He will protect this little boy, guide and deliver him away from his misery. I pray that we will be more sensitive towards the world around us and not be blinded by our own selfish nature and interests.
I hope this picture will always serve as a reminder to us that how fortunate we are and that we must never ever take things for granted. Let's make a prayer for the suffering in anywhere anyplace around the globe and send this friendly reminder to others "Think & look at this... when you complain about your food and the food we wasted daily........
Monday, 15 February 2010
Friday, 5 February 2010
Thursday, 4 February 2010
its hard to say what the real reason is but i really dont like her...i dont hate her just dont like her..
we as students are here to get education that we dont have. we are here to get the skills that are necessary and we are paying..
what is the point of doing a job you are not good at it
what is the point of taking your monthly pay when when you are clearly taking advantage of your situation
you know that we will do anything just to pass our exams
you know that we are paying and dont want to waste our time
so for you..just talking and reading something that clearly you are not good at and putting fate on the line
she is clearly gambling with our lives.