change

how does a person change?

does changing bring a lot of difference in life?

what is change?

being someone you're not is changing.

is it a bad thing to be someone you are not?

if being someone you are not gives you happiness and fufillment then i think its a good thing.

if being someone you are not gives you happiness but misery to those around you ....

then is this chnage good or bad?

do you forsake others for your own happiness or forsake yourself for their happiness?

who comes first, yourself or the people around you?

how do you change without forsaking anyone's happiness?

Forsake yourself for others happiness is being noble.

Forsake others for your happiness is being true to yourself.

so which should i choose?

6 days before i tell my mother the truth
hopefully she doesnt find out before that...

what does it feels like to be locked outside your own house

it feels like.....

when you lose your wallet which is full of water

+

when you start running around the world only to find out in the end the world have run out of water

+

not being able to say anything suddenly because out of no where you lost your voice

yup.. as you have already guessed i was locked out of my house

i forgot to bring my house key when i left

but i thought it didnt matter since my brother was at home

after waitinng so long for a bus and i was so happy to be finally home

i rang the doorbell with the hope that my wonderfull brother will open the door for me...

i rang the doorbell for atleast 5 minutes

the only doors that opened was my neighbours... even they could hear my doorbelll but only my wonderfull brother couldnt

i called his stupid handphone 20 times the only voice i heard was

"the person you dialled is currently unavailable..plese try again later"

yes.. after 20 calls i have made a conclusion that her mother only taught her to say that line...

poor thing

so i continued to knock and ring the doorbell

the whole block heard it except for my darling brother

so at this point my mind was not at a normal level

so i did something that i would not have done if my mind was at a normal level

i went down to the ground floor....

i went towards where my brothers window was located....(that was what i thought)

and i screamed on top of my voice calling my brothers name and also some very not pleasent words...(keep in mind my mind was not at a normal level)

so basically i screamed until i ran out of breath

eveyone was looking of of their window

except for my brother

then

i realise

my brothers

window was

not located at where i thought it was

it was at the opposite side

yes

i totally felt that i lost my mind at that time

so i went to the opposite side

and screamed for my brother

and out of no where i heard

"WHAT"

from my brothers window

i still had some energy to screamed from the ground floor and scold him

i had every right to scold him

only thing i should have done it when i was in my house... my bad

after that i was never seen a a polite young lady anymore in my neighbours eyes

when i went up to my house my neighbours were laughing and the only thing i could have said was

desperate times calls for desperate measures.

MY SPECIAL DAY

My special day….

8 june 2008…
i met xue ying at city square at 12.00 pm
she wanted to treat me lunch
so we went to VIVO
from the time I met her at mc donalds till we were at VIVO she kept saying she was disappointed with Wen Nee for not being able to celebrate my birthday with me
Knowing Xue Ying for many years already I knew she was up to something..
Because she will never be angry with someone she is close with her unless that someone makes her feel like a fool.
So I knew she would never be angry with Wen Nee
So to not make her feel that I knew what was going on
I went along with her story…
Then after a while at VIVO..
Wen Nee popped out…
I knew they were going to surprise me but I didn’t expect to get a shock out of it…
I was shaking after that
So my dear Xue Ying I was not surprised I was shocked..
Then after lunch my dear friend Ikhwan brought out the Caramel Pudding he made …
At that moment I was so touched….
The pudding was very delicious…
I feel bad I coulnt finish it
Because it was really a large portion
But I loved it
My dear friend Ikhwan was also the first person to wish me
So I would like to take this opportunity to thank him
For everything…
Then there is my new ‘lover’ Wen Nee..
I thank you so much for tha hand-made Birthday Card
I really love it
I would tressure the card you Made for me for the rest of my life
Then there was also Sez Hui
She is really afraid of pudding
So I guess it was really a torture for her to see a large pudding
So I would like to thank her for being there and not complaining even after seeing a large pudding

Then there was the very cute Joanne
She is really very cute
Even though we got to know each other only for a short while
She never made me feel that way
She made me feel like I have known her for ages
She will always laugh for no special reason
Thank you so much for celebrating my birthday with me
Thank you for making a long journey from Kulai to spend my birthday with me
Then there was also Koo…
We used to call him anti- social
Because he never liked going out
But he changed a lot..
Thank you so much for making it that day
I wont forget our deal.
Then there is my dearest best friend Ng Xue Ying a.k.a orangeyou made my day a special day
She called me while she was watching movie in the cinema with
Lydia, Pinky and Pui Yee
Lydia sang a portion of the birthday song for me and the rest of them wished me.. Thanks so much
After today I can make a conclusion orange is not very good at lying
Thank you so much for the surprise and the shock
I really appreciate it
Orange was also the last person to wish me happy birthday and also the first to wish me happy belated birthday
Wen Nee, Sez Hui, Joanne, Ikhwan, Koo, and also my dearest Xue Ying
Thank you so much for a wonderfull day
I really appreciate it
To those who remembered my birthday

Thank you so much…
I really appreciate it.

wont be updating my blog for a while.maybe after my exam.......really sorry about it.......

i have been feeling really lousy these few days........and worst of all i really dont know why........

weird right.........

anyway nothing much is going on in my life these days

just the daily routine of attending class doing homework..........

i really want to be rebellious and do stuff that i normally wont dare to do.........

i want to scold all sorts of bad words and throw insults at people who make me feel lousy

i want to go out late night and get drunk without having to consider about my mum

i want to yell at my family for chosing money over family

i want to travel around the world without any

worries............

what i am asking and wishing for right now seems really impossible but i still have this tiny little ray of hope maybe it will happe.........

test. test. test.tutorials and all those stuff that can make you do well in your exam is really driving me crazy............
i guess i havent really been working hard these days
its a new year.2008
no new year resolution
just need to tahan for 4 months
then later can enjoy
i think........