The Journey That Continues...

i like being me sometimes...
i find my thoughts interesting..
things that no one can think of i will think of it
small things that doesnt matter gets me curious and frustrated
when i was young i used to think that i was the only one with a conscious
i thought that everyone else around me didnt have an inner voice and that i was all alone in this world
i thought i was the only one who can talk to myself 'internally'
and most of all i thought i was the only one who could think and everyone else was just a body living and breathing the same air as me..eating the same food as me
i didnt there ask anyone what to do with this inner voice of mine or how to stop thinking because at that time i knew they wouldnt understand since none of them was like me
so i carried on thinking
while walking to church
i would see someone cooking and i thought to myself he has no idea i am looking at him while thinking of him because he was just a body
and i would start smilling
my mum wold scold me for smilling to myself
she said people who smiled to themselves was crazy and everyone avoids crazy people
i didnt care because everyone else was just a body but i was different
i can talk to myself without others knowing
i would go to church and see people pray out loud
but i didnt because i could pray without anyone realising i was praying
i had me inside of me
i could talk to me
i could make fun of something and only me and me knew
i could tell a lie and only me and me knew
i could walk alone in the playground and not be scared because i knew me was with me
i was in my own world
i was not scared because others was just a body
but soon these bodies started becoming scary
the seem to scare you with words and actions even though they were just bodies
when the bodies seem to get scarier
i started clinging on to my mother
eventhough she was a body she was still my mother
my mother was a different kind of body
she made me so therefore she was a special body
so i went on with my childhood clinging on to my mother
but still with me inside of me
i wasnt fearless as before but i still did things with me
i shared thoughts with me
i dont really remember whether me shared anything with me

i wonder what happen to me
was me such a small thing that as i grow older me didnt matter
did me dissapear when i found out that i was not the only one with an inner 'me'
is me still inside of me
i think it is
i just have to dig it out
to remember my childhoods innocence i need me
to remeber my childhood boldness i needed me
to remember my childhoods smile i needed me
to remember the small things that me and me shared i needed me
so i guess me never left me
and guess what???
i just shared a joke with me..AND I AM SMILLING TO MYSELF=)